Southeners behaving badly

It's official, chivalry is dead in the south. Or perhaps it never really existed. A cultural urban legend.

I live in the south, the deep south. Think Scarlett & Rhett, boiled peanuts and Moon Pies. And yet...as a Yankee I have yet to witness a grand southern gesture. I have never seen a man tip his hat to a woman (let alone take it off when inside), walk street-side nor pull out her chair. And not once while traveling mass transit have I seen a man offer his seat to a woman.

This evening while teetering on three inch stilettos (what was I thinking) in a packed subway I noticed something- the majority of seats were occupied by men. As I scanned the car I realized that only women were standing. Some young, some senior but all women.

As I was contemplating this my stop approached and a most peculiar thing happened. One of the seated men began jockeying with me at the door. This man who remained seated while mothers, grandmothers and sisters stood had the gall to try and push me out of the way to exit.

What has led us to this cultural insensitivity? I don't think this is a gender bias, rather I believe this is a cultural phenomenon. My experiences abroad have shown me that chivalrous behavior is part of the culture. (The flip side being that machismo is as prevalent). A man would be ashamed to remain seated while a woman stood in a crowded bus. And it's not just men. I've seen kids and young women rise and offer their seats to older women. It's not a consideration, it's reflexive.

So what happened to us? Have Americans lost our manners? Have Southerners lost their charm? Has feminism stomped out all gentlemanly behavior? What accounts for Southerners behaving so badly?


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